Sunday, December 21, 2008

"She got that magna cum laude pussy on her that done fried up your brain!"

If you ask me, the real star of Basic Instinct isn't The Turtleneck Dress,

The Needlessly Brutal Sex Scenes,

or Michael Douglas' constipated orgasms.

It's Jeanne Tripplehorn's Bart Simpson keychain!

Great Bonnets In Cinema: Providing Maximum Protection During Your Period Piece

Friday, December 19, 2008

Snow, dawgs!

You all know why Snow Flurry '08 is upon us, right? In case you haven't heard, a mortal touched a unicorn,

pretty much unleashing the forces of darkness and causing it to snow.

If I were you, I'd go and apologize to any unicorns I may have offended recently, just to be on the safe side.


-can you even believe that Ridley Scott loathes Legend's Tangerine Dream score? Does he not understand that Tangerine Dream does nothing but unequivocal good for one's movie?

-can you even believe that a film exists wherein Tom Cruise says sorry to a unicorn? While swaddled in a pelt?

-can you even believe the Dark Lord symbolically turned Lily into a lesbian? What was that supposed to accomplish? I thought he wanted her to be his girlfriend.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Intensity in ten cities

There's a christmas tree, you see, so it's seasonally appropriate.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Oscar clippin'

These are from the episode of 90210 where the character with the least sex appeal accidentally shoots himself in front of David.

Friday, December 5, 2008

"This is my woman part speaking"

I'm off to do laundry and get crackin' on my Vision Quest vision quest. In the meantime, please enjoy the works of my bosom buddies, Mike(y) and Ing(rid).

From Mike(y):

Ms. Nelson's Poorly Edited Suicide Tape

Tori: Chasing the Dark 24x7

From Ing(rid):

Inspiredly edited homage to Ryan O'Neal in Fever Pitch:

Pig Farm: Take My Breath Away

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

9 1/2 Sweaters!

Monday, December 1, 2008

"My genius is 1 percent inspiration 99 percent perspiration shaquille o'neal"

That there is Shaquille O'Neal attributing a Thomas Edison quote TO HIMSELF via his (Shaq's, not Thomas Edison's, sadly) Twitter account. And yes, those are the 'gregiously 'bbreviated musings of the actual, factual Shaquille. Shaq reportedly shat bricks upon learning that a commoner was Twittering under the name "Shaquille O'Neal" and retaliated by starting his own Twitter, "THE_REAL_SHAQ". But that's neither here nor there, y'all. I don't care who's penning these genius bits as long as they keep on keepin' on:

"Good morning everyone. Let me give you all a hint on how to relate to me, Shaquille O'neal I have a sense of humor I am very quotatious" 9:47 AM Nov 18th from txt

"Startn 2morro if u c a homeless person, feedem, only if u can" 10:28 PM Nov 29th from txt

"Why is today called black friday" 10:28 PM Nov 28th from txt

"Cant sleep i think i maay have mental imsomnia, plus im watchn the lost boys" 10:59 PM Nov 23rd from txt

Lemme kiss away your DTs, darling

Precious moments from Cat's Eye. Bon appetit!