Sunday, November 16, 2008

Do u have a dark side??

What would you say is your favorite scene in Bram Stoker's Dracula? I like the part where 'Noni Rydes goes "Calgon take me away from all this...deathhhhhh!" and proceeds to make blow job-reminiscent love to Gary Oldman's chest!

You can really see the thhhhhh in this picture, huh?



Those with more risqué proclivities might love this scene:


They might love this scene so much that they want to be as close to it as possible. And one night, when their love is especially strong, they make this:


And it is a beautiful thing that you should not be ashamed of, dawg!

Know what else is a beautiful thing you shouldn't be ashamed of? Blingees, provided they are judiciously executed! Blingees are also excellent tools for answering tough questions like

"What does it look like when a famous actress cries money in a period costume?",

Mentalism

"What does it look like when a famous actress cries money AND cries out for help in a period costume?",

winona crying money for help

and "What does it look like when you tastefully honor the passing of acclaimed actor Paul Newman?"

Paul Newman Rainbow Bridge

If you have a question that you'd like me to answer with a Blingee, don't be shy! This is my livelihood!

3 comments:

es138 said...

I thought the beasty sex scene in Dracula was so hawt when I was 11. 6 years later I would play Johnathan Harker in a highschool production of Dracula. 6 years following that I would grow to be as hairy as Vincent from Beauty and the Beast(TV). I also have his tender, tender voice.
Observe!
http://vincentandrolos.ytmnd.com/

Yeardley Smith said...

The libidos of 11-year-olds scare the shit out of me! I don't know why...maybe cuz their ideas of sex are so grotesque and uninformed by reality that their wet dreams look like Troma Studios productions? Once I figured out that sex was more than a prolonged hug, I was plagued by some pretty freaky shit in the privacy of my own head. Thank fucking god that nightmare's over!!!

I had no idea you did theater in high school. Did you try to affect Keanu Reeves' stilted British accent as Jonathan Harker? There's this one line in Dracula that he just KILLS. It's something about "wild dogs chasing me through some blue inferno", but with the accent it's more like "in-FUHHH-noe!"

Nick said...

libidi

j/k

You know you could actually have an entire blog devoted to the concept of a Dear Abby advice format, wherein you respond to questions only with Blingees!

What if you started pronouncing that in French? "Mes reponses sont blingées!"